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2025-02-16 04:32:05

Lola

lola@hubzilla.monster

To get the "perfect" relationship (or more realistically the ideal relationship for you and your partner), you have to do four things:

1. Get very clear about what you want and don't want in a relationship.
2. Clearly communicate what you want to prospective mates and partners.
3. Be real to your prospective partners. Don't try to impress them by being fake. Be yourself. Be honest.
4. Meet a lot of people and don't settle.

show all 26 reacties

2025-02-16 22:39:15

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

I just read your 'rules' again. The fourth is probably the most difficult one. It takes a lot of effort, and not settling when you're so needy can really be tough. I think it's the most important rule for abused women (and men of course). Don't settle, abuse is not normal, get rid of your 'addiction'. The same can be said to people who always fall into the same turd.

2025-02-17 02:27:53

Lola

lola@hubzilla.monster

Sometimes you luck out. I have met several people who would have made great partners. I met someone who would have been perfect for me when I was much younger, but I messed it up. And I met others along the way too. There isn't just one out there.

Finally I get fed up with being single, and I implemented all four, and within a year I found many great matches, and one that was the "perfect" one. There is power in being intentional.

2025-02-17 02:32:50

Lola

lola@hubzilla.monster

There is one important caveat though. Your list has to be realistic. People aren't perfect, and you will be disappointed if you expect them to be.

I don't think you will have that problem since you seem to be a very giving person, but I include this here for anyone else reading.

2025-02-17 16:46:35

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Et I see the formatting, expressing the knowledge of knowing that the soles of my shoes are very brown, didn't make it.

2025-02-17 17:08:18

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Et Oh, that's odd, on hubzilla.monster the formatting is displayed as is. But on hoteldaan.nl it's gone.

2025-02-17 21:30:03

Lola

lola@hubzilla.monster

The part?

2025-02-17 22:13:21

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Lola I just read your 'rules' again. The fourth is probably the most difficult one. It takes a lot of effort, and not settling when you're so needy can really be tough. I think it's the most important rule for abused women (and men of course). Don't settle, abuse is not normal, get rid of your 'addiction'. <guilty face>The same can be said to people who always fall into the same turd</guilty face>.

2025-02-17 22:42:32

Lola

lola@hubzilla.monster

There might be some filtering there. The second post looks different than the first time you posted it.

2025-02-17 22:45:31

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

Strange, but it's a hubzilla thing, so local settings will be prevalent probably.

2025-02-17 22:51:54

Scott M. Stolz

scott@loves.tech

@Et It might be because your server has the Markdown Post (mdpost) addon enabled and we don't. This would change how certain things are formatted. It could be something else, but I do know that addon makes a difference.

2025-02-17 23:00:12

Lola

lola@hubzilla.monster

@Scott M. Stolz Why no markdown?

2025-02-17 23:00:29

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

Ah, thanks, I'll tell the administrator.
One think I think is a candidate for improvement, is thread view. I have to search for messages. Normally on a forum, you see the messages in place, so indented like source code. Daniël showed me a way of seeing the threads as groups, but that breaks the general overview.

2025-02-17 23:09:10

Scott M. Stolz

scott@loves.tech

@Lola There are some conflicts between BBCode and Markdown when using the mdpost addon. How it works is it converts your Markdown to BBCode. But it sometimes messes things up, like bullets when you go to edit it. If the issue with the bullets got fixed, I would probably enable it.

But it also seems to mess with that you put in the post. Without the mdpost addon, it just renders as text. With the mdpost addon, it tries to convert it to BBCode and fails.

2025-02-17 23:18:43

Scott M. Stolz

scott@loves.tech

@Et Hubzilla is like old school forums with a single thread per conversation. I would like to see a threaded view as well.

You may have noticed some up and down arrows on some posts. You can use that to go to the post being replied to and then come back to that post.

2025-02-17 23:29:13

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Scott M. Stolz Yes, now you mention it. Good to see that the corresponding message is shown at the top of the page. That saves searching. Threaded view would be a major improvement though. It would make reading so much easier.

2025-02-18 00:32:48

Marshall Sutherland

dwatney@hub.farthinghalearms.com

Threaded view would be a major improvement though. It would make reading so much easier.

It does when reading a highly commented post for the first time. Coming back later and trying to find new comments interspersed throughout the entire conversation is another matter entirely. In the end, I'm not sure which I'd prefer, if the notifications for all of the replies went away as soon as you looked at the first, as happens now.

2025-02-18 00:57:49

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

If new comments would be bold, they would be easily detectable. Shouldn't be too hard.

2025-02-18 01:27:14

Marshall Sutherland

dwatney@hub.farthinghalearms.com

Ooo, there is an idea. Or maybe some sort of highly visible indicator (bar to the side or background change) so as not to mess with people's original formatting.

2025-02-18 12:35:51

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

I wasn't bold enough yesterday to state that most of the forums I visit have this kind of formatting, but I think they do. A bar to the side or different background would be nice, you could immediately see the context to which the comments belong.

2025-02-18 20:44:20

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Scott M. Stolz You were right Scott, Daniël changed it.

2025-02-20 13:37:12

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Scott M. Stolz Scott, I tried to get an account on hubzilla.monster. But I got stuck at the verification. I never got the email. If I send an email to myself it's delivered.

2025-02-20 14:38:47

Scott M. Stolz

scott@loves.tech

@Et I just tested it out to make sure it works using two different email addresses. In both cases I received it, but Gmail did mark it as spam. So it might be in your spam folder or filtered by your email provider.

If you are unable to get the email, you can send me a direct message to privately tell me your email address, and I can manually approve your account.

2025-02-20 15:02:06

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

@Scott M. Stolz You were right Scott, I checked my spambox and there it was. I just created the channel, I'll configure it later. Thanks a lot.

2025-02-20 15:38:08

Scott M. Stolz

scott@loves.tech

@Et Glad to have you. If you need any assistance, please contact me or post in the @Hubzilla Monster Support forum. I get a lot of messages, so I am more likely to see it in the forum, which I check periodically. If I set things up correctly, it should already be one of your first connections.

2025-02-20 18:41:02

et@hub.hoteldaan.nl

Thanks. Sending private messages with @!<name> doesn't seem te work.

2025-02-20 19:19:06

Scott M. Stolz

scott@loves.tech

@Et There are two ways to send direct messages.

The first is to use the @! method. The easiest way is to start with @ and the first 3 letters of their channel address or name and it will give you a list to pick from. Click on the one your want, and then add the ! after the @ sign. Note that this only works for new posts, not for comments. You have to start a new conversation.

Note that it won't show the list until you type the first 3 characters. For you, someone would need to type et@ before you would come up in the list.

The other way is to go to /hq or your channel and start a new post. Click on the padlock and pick the people who you want to send the direct message to.

It should be noted that @! creates a new public post on a forum if you are addressing a forum.